My Fertility Journey, Navigating Antiphospholipid Syndrome

Written by: Kim Smith

A few years ago, I didn’t know anyone who experienced pregnancy or child loss in my network. My friends were all having kids in their mid to late 30’s successfully, so I didn’t really put much thought into it being a challenge. My partner and I got pregnant for the first time in 2022. Sadly, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 5w6d. My partner was out of town, and the only person I could think of calling at the moment was the walk-in clinic for guidance.  

Due to our advanced age I decided to get a referral to Olive Fertility. I wanted to know why I had a miscarriage and if there was a way to avoid it again in the future. Olive had discovered that I had endometritis and treated me accordingly. I ended up getting pregnant immediately after this although it ended in a loss at 5w4d. Olive decided to do some further bloodwork, and it came back positive for antiphospholipid syndrome. My partner had decided he had enough and didn’t want to pursue assisted reproduction. Our relationship came to an end, and I had to grieve that alongside my recent loss. 

My desire to become a mom has never faded. My sister works in clinical genetics and I knew I had to freeze my eggs. After some time passed to grieve and make the decision to go into debt, I welcomed 4 little eggies to the world late 2024.   

My boyfriend came into my life in 2025, and I can’t get over how wonderful he’s been regarding my dream of having children. Olive found that I had a uterine septum and suggested it be removed as it can cause implantation failure and miscarriage. My boyfriend took me to Vancouver to have this procedure earlier this year. We haven’t been able to get pregnant and discovered some male factor infertility. We have an upcoming appointment with Olive and hope to move forward to IVF with ICSI. Since I have antiphospholipid syndrome, I will have a special protocol which includes injecting myself once daily with low molecular weight heparin for (hopefully) 9 months. Yay more needles. 

The saving grace during my fertility journey has been the Butterfly Run. Almost a year after my first loss, I discovered the inaugural Butterfly Run Kelowna and decided to sign up as a volunteer. That day I learned there were many others who have experienced infertility, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and TFMR. I could talk to others about my experiences openly and honestly. I volunteered again the next year and planted my feet further into the community by attending events held by the Butterfly Run Support Network. By the third year I decided to join as a committee member to give back to a community that gave me so much. After feeling comfortable sharing my personal journey with fertility, I had old friends and family members come forward to share their own experiences with me. I had no idea that so many others around me lost pregnancies or children. Joining social media groups has been comforting to read stories of loss. I find myself fascinated by reading medical journals on topics such as antiphospholipid syndrome and implantation failure to understand how they work.   

There are times that I stress about how much money I spend on fertility treatments and how much still awaits ahead, but becoming a parent is something that I have to do regardless of cost and risk. I recently heard a quote by Ronald Reagan that gave me peace during my fertility struggles: “The future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.”